a little scared.. but dunno what to do.. making someone tired and knowing that I've gotta do something to make this situation better is really a tough one..

now I'm not just a little scared I guess.. cos this is not the first time le.. and it really feels horrifying and maybe panicky to be at a lost for words and actions.. I know I need to do something but I just dunno where to start from.. if only I could turn back the time and not make the same mistake..

the same mistakes over and over again.. what the hell am I thinking/doing.. it's either my brain is not working or I am really dumb.. sometimes I feel like my nephew.. " I dunno why, but I really cant control what I'm doing.." now I know how he feels when he is doing the wrong thing without him realising and without having the ability to stop what he is doing..

I gotta be a better me.. really a better one..