it's not disappearing.. HOW?

another appointment after 6 months at NUH.. I've been "visiting" NUH so often during the last 2 years of my life and spending so much of my parents' money.. all these because of a cynst in my ovary.. actually, I'm already immuned to all these things le.. drinking lots of water to fill up my bladder.. the wanna go to toilet but cannot do it feeling.. the scan.. the waiting time just to see the doctor.. the travelling to and fro NUH.. I'm so sick of it that I'm already feeling numb.. ask me if I'm worried.. I really dont know.. the cynst is still there but everytime I see the doctor, he will say "it's alright.. as long as it does not grow bigger, you are fine." cant say I am not a least bit of worried.. cos when the nurse called this morning to ask me to go back next month for another blood test.. I felt damn lost.. WHY? why another blood test next month? is something wrong with the test I did yesterday? I really hate blood tests! especially at NUH! they just cant seem to get blood out of me.. the first time was 6 times! they pricked me 6 times to get just a small little tube of blood from me.. 6 times at 4 different places! for someone who hates needles and injections.. that was an achievement! but please.. spare me the needles! yesterday.. they only have to prick me once.. but.. the first nurse didnt dare to prick me cos she really cant find my vein.. the 2nd nurse came and she remembered me from the last visit (the 6 times girl).. though I was only pricked once yesterday.. but that tube of blood took us like 5 to 10 minutes to get it.. *SUFFERINGS*

sometimes I just wished that they can just operate me and get the cynst out.. but.. I'm scared too.. scared of getting cut up by the operating knife..

everytime I visit a doctor when I fall sick, I'll never fail to think about how life is so unfair.. I dont know.. this thought just comes to me naturally.. have been a healthy person ever since I was born.. I seldom fall sick.. but when I slowly move on in life, I will start to fall sick more often and the type of sickness that I get is always not the normal type of sickness like flu, fever and blah blah blah.. cynst, piles.. what are all these? I dont even know what all these things are, but I have it.. it's like I'm gonna be stuck with them for the rest of my life.. if only I can just put all these aside and not go think about them.. but seeing so many "examples" happening around.. I dare not.. it's kinda scary knowing that you are going to die anytime and no medicines or whatsoever can cure you.. 我好佩服那些病患，明明已经知道自己不能活多久了，可是还很坚强和非常珍惜的过他们的每一天。